As you can probably tell, I tend toward the codependent side of “wounded narcissism”. But the effect is the same with regard to “hurt” – either numbed out or else sometimes objecting to and raging at other people’s behavior.

There’s a blog post by “Dr. Sanity”, a psychiatrist who’s no longer adding new stuff or commenting, that explains the “all-about-you” and “all-about-me” polarity. I think I’ve posted a link before on PC somewhere so I won’t do it again unless somebody wants it.

Mamaduke so quick to answer’s response seemed like a “jab” to me. I felt some pain myself, now that I can feel hurt, even though I’m not diagnosed with NPD. Seemed like a rejecting, shunning, “I’m better than those people are” response.

Several years ago my daughter said that I should know that my “emotional outbursts” caused hurt in others. I replied “How can I know if you don’t tell me?” If there had been a way then, before I had to go through the trauma therapy to reconnect with my old childhood pain, to tell me what it was I did that hurt people and why. . .but the dynamic is very complicated.

Underground, probably saying that you “enjoy" hearing about others emotional distress isn’t the best way to put it to encourage them to tell you! But I get it. Your “best self” would like to know, as did mine.