thank you recluse. I guess deep down i know I'm not alone, but i sure feel like it. I just dont know what to do and my doctor keeps saying i need to talk to someone. But who, there is no counsler or therapist down here and my insurance dont cover it. I feel like the pdoc i went to today to get a dx doesnt really give a %#@&#!. I was in there 15 minutes with him and nothing made sense to me. He said to stop taking the cymbalta and zanax as of now and start on lexapro tonite. He said i have moderate ptsd and depression and severe anxity. Then he tells me my anxiety will probably get alot worse for the next 7 to something days,but gradually it will get better. I cant even handle it now and its gonna be worse. I hate crying and now i cant stop. Im trying not to think suicidal thoughts but they are fighting to take over my thoughts. I just dont know