My T has decreased her boundaries. When I started with her 1.5 years ago, T allowed 1 email per week in between sessions, and response time to that email would be 24-48 hours. She gave me her home office phone number for emergency use only. She mentioned early on that she has a cell phone, but that line was strictly saved for her own personal use and she would never give that number out to a client.

About 3-4 months in, T allowed me to email her as I needed. She also started to give hugs during our sessions, but I do not know her exact boundaries on touch. Sessions started to go longer than the alloted time. About 6-7 months in, emails became unlimited and 2-way (she emailed me first sometimes) though neither one of us overdid it. Eventually, email contact became almost daily, and not always therapy related. Response time from T became very quick.

Phone calls are welcome anytime now. T gave me her cell phone number a while ago. When T goes on vacation now, she tells me to call her cell if I need her whereas she used to give me the name and number of one of her colleagues. She went on a vacation a while ago where she wasn't able to get cell phone reception so she gave me the number to the hotel she was staying at. I usually do not instigate contact first when T is on vacation. She usually shoots me emails or texts when she is away.

There has also been a lot of self-disclosure from T. T also said her boundaries restrict her from telling clients she loves them, but she has told me many times she loves me. She has told me I am "special" and a "friend." We do have a very special bond, and it is felt both ways.

T and I communicate A LOT during the week usually by email but lately it seems like it’s more by phone. The relationship we have is well, strange, but I wouldn't change it for anything because I have finally learned how to give and accept unconditional, selfless love with another adult. This relationship has been a life-saver for me. Just the same, the road leading to this amazing relationship wasn’t easy. There was so much confusion (what is so special about me that T would break her boundaries), worry (delayed email response made me wonder if T was going to reestablish boundaries), and fear (eventual abandonment seemed inevitable) it made me crazy many-a-day. It was hellaciously painful at times. Plus, there was some intense self-disclosure from T that was downright damaging.

I’m to the point now where this relationship is having an all-positive effect on me. Well, almost -- there are times every now and again that I worry T will stop loving me. Yet, I am confident that T and I will be a part of each other’s life in some way until one of us dies.