well personally i dont think it matters if you stink! you are still you! i can kind of relate...when i was little my dad would always tell me that it isnt ok to cry...and im a bad person for crying. ever since i cant cry in front of people...it doesnt matter how much i need to cry, i wont let myself.
but it gets a bit better(in my opion)i have cried in front of certain people and felt fine with it. but i hope things get better for you.
(((( hugs ))))