I hope you are feeling better :-( (((((((HUG))))))))

I get a sort of panicky rage too. I feel trapped and desperate and my anxiety spikes then I melt down. It often happens when my mood states are shifting from one to the other, and can happen after weeks of depression as I swing up, or it can be the beginning of weeks of depression.

I've got holes in my walls and I've destroyed a lot of expensive things throwing them (laptops, cell phones etc) It sucks to feel that out of control. I'm always at risk for impulsively/compulsively doing self harm when I'm like that.

I do hope you feel better soon. It's really tough to be where you are right now. Do what you need to do to keep yourself safe! I hope you'll go IP if you need to...

Lisa