[QUOTE=healingme4me;4728259]I am pretty sure that I know what you mean. I had worked on detachment skills long before filing. I had to, because it was an emotional rollercoaster. He'd behave in a reactive manner and I'd become upset because I couldn't understand what I'd done to upset him, so much. It was a lengthy process to come to understand my role in the rollercoaster along with why he behaves the way that he behaves. ( QUOTE )

You know , now that I look back I can't believe how much time I wasted trying to figure out just where she was coming from. Or trying to get the truth out of her about how she " really" felt. Time I could have been using to prepare myself for the inevitable. That's what kills me the most. Wasted time. It's precious.