Quote:
Originally Posted by marmaduke
Atypical
From what little you've said here about your mother, I certainly agree that the term "malignant narcissist" is most definitely an accurate label for her. She reminds me of a couple of people I used to know. How often did your mother lie, generally speaking?
A narcissistic mother never 'sees' her children.
She is the director and producer of her own film, she creates roles for her offspring. I was scapegoat, mostly ignored. To mother I was an irritation. Fat, lazy, stuipid, I 'stank',ugly, spoilt by father (I wasn't, daddies little favorite is not a good place to be, if you know what I mean)
No one would ever like me she said. All her problems were MY fault, she regualrly told me.
These are the lies, the things she said to me, told other people about me.
None are true. Sad thing is I believed those things for 40 years. 40 f##king wasted years. My 'mother' never 'saw' me at all.
N mothers/fathers are soul destroyers.
'If it wasn't for you we be alright' I think this statement is one that creates a plethora of problems.
'If it wasn't for you we'd be alright' . In my young mind=I need to disapear then everything will be good 'I am flawed, bad, useless' Suicidal thoughts came to me early, about eight years old, Should I throw myself out the moving car? Swim right out to sea as far as I can? Then everyones problems will be solved.
Even now I think of suicide most days even though I am not suicidal. I suppose its a habit.
IMO at least 50% of suicides are caused by unfit parenting. A deep inner shame planted in a young immature psyche. That secret thought 'I have no place in this world. It haunts.
By the age of five I already had the weight of the world on my shouders.
So many people on here that insist 'My parents are wonderful' and then go on to describe the horrors they have lived though.
And they still love them. WTF is that all about? Stockholm syndrone anyone?
I dont get it. Makes me mad I want to scream. Hate them Hate them, then you can move on! Cut those chains that bind.
Love is about kindness, care, compassion about caring for someone esle more than you care about yourself, otherwise it aint love its abuse!
Never love anything that can't love you back.
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Your mother sounds like a carbon copy of a woman I knew for about a year, she was about a decade older than my own mother and she behaved very much like you described your mother. Glad I got rid of that woman, she was pathetic.
What you're saying about people saying their parents are wonderful and then talking about how abusive they are, yeah I don't get that either. It makes zero sense. Stockholm Syndrome is the only conclusion I can reach about such people, also.
I have openly told people before that loving me will result in their psychological destruction. When I have been upfront about that though, they often don't believe me... Thinking I'm hating on myself, nothing could be further from the truth. The fact is that I cannot love, and that loving me and expecting me to love you back is just downright foolish when I've told someone upfront that love is not something I am capable of.