i have to admit something.
when i took ambien yesterday i tried to hurt my chickens with a weapon. i couldve easily hurt myself. but ive been wanting the high from the ambien because i am numb inside. im sick of being alone. i just want to be with my dad all the time but hes never here.

i went out in the pouring rain again like i did 3-4 years ago. i blacked out on ambien.

i believe the devil wants to kill me. my mom tried to give me an excorsicm when i was 17. she tricked me into it saying she was going to take me to nighttime church and she took me to a catholic church where a priest was waiting for me.