Wow! I'm glad you were able to vent...

Sounds like you have a lot bottled up regarding your daughter...

I think first we need to strip away the word bipolar for now...There seems to be a theme in your post about how she has messed up everyone around her...you mention step son's...so either hubby is on marriage two or both? This produces a great strain on family dynamics...children involved may resent parents...

There is a lot in your post...I think before we point the figure just at your daughter...you consider a 360 evaluation of each person involved in this...

I said we would get back to it...regarding bipolar...it will be up to your daughter to seek help...no one can force her...so I would suggest you learn some more about BP and how someone can be there for that person...

More later...