Oh my dear friends. all of you. I want to cut because It will give me some control in a place I feel powerless. Thanks for all of your caring and being there. I feel like I have no power in my life. I can't make my boy feel better, I can't help cancer kid, I can't help my daughter, I can't just get on with my life and let go of the job crap. I want some control and the blade is under my control. no, I have nothing handy. I have made that choice. Tomorrow I go to the doc for an annual and she knows so my scars will be visable. No, I will not cut tonight. Just how much stress am I supposed to handle?