KKfk, I am sorry for your loss. Yes, you are bravely being there to someone who was a part of your life. It is hard to watch a loved one die. I lost my spouse to a mental illness and break down. They are not getting better rather i believe worse and there is nothing i can do for them. I have also lost my Dad who died Nov. 2, 2012. Halloween 3 years ago we all were around his bed watching him suffer. He died 2 days later. He was a shell of a man, wracked in pain. And every year i feel it more so. It is hard to lose a parent. And my Mom has dementia and also is going downhill. There is no quality of life just empty eyes, sometimes a sparkle in them, mostly questioning, unsure of herself or the ability to remember anyone. The only thing i can tell you is so many of us have gone through what you are going through, and you really are not alone. I will pray for you. Remember you have all of us here at PC as your family. (((hugs))) and prayers.