So I kind of need to explain a little background to get to what I am trying to say. I just want to say I am not saying any of this to get sympathy its just how life turned out.

I was born with a condition that slowly takes away my physical abilities. I have always been a fiercely independant person and have had to except help to an extent. But I am having a really hard time with losing this latest ability that every does without thinking. I thought I would be able to keep showering on my own for at least five more years. This brings up several issues for me one of them is that my cutting is now going to be seen by aides and personal care assistants and I am so scared they are going to react by calling for an ambulance and I know that I need to stop cutting to keep this from happening but I am not in a place right now where I can even attempt that right now. Also this loss of independence is making the urges so bad right now. I just don't know what to do anymore