I am trying to understand how I allow to be victimised by manipulators and what effect it has on me. I find myself stuck in a highly controlling, emotionally & physically abusive co dependant relationship yet again, after I had escaped the same in my marriage. Somehow, my power gets taken and when I realise I have no control of anything anymore, I retreat into a semi vegetative mental state unable to fight back. How can I let myself be completely diminished by psychological games and actually start punishing myself as well for being weak. I know hes a bad'un, I know he is an addict, I know not to believe his lies, but repeatedly carry on with the same submission and then suffer such overwhelming depression when he hurts again, every day. Am I looking to be a victim? Why? How can someone have so much power over someone elses emotions and mental state. How can he say in one breathe he loves me then his actions prove the opposite? Aargh! How can I fight back if my physical & mental coping mechanism is to switch off, retreat, shut down and be immobile. Believe me, have tried to overcome that, but my body & mind wont let me. Why???