must try to keep to doc johns rules about suicidal posts, but its hard when all i think about is this.
thought i had friends in the real world, but i have found i have only my family..
it got bad lastnight, halloween is my fav time of year, i get to dress up with real masks and dont have to use a mask to hide my pain. but lastnight was long and quiet, noone knocked the door.
my mood was low before this but now feeling very low and alone.
( i want to follow doc's rules )...........
ggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr sorry i had to ggrrrr
not in the best place right now