Quote:
Originally Posted by marmaduke
A narcissistic mother never 'sees' her children.
|
Yes, so true! A narcissistic father doesn't see his own children either, especially if he has a son. I truly believe sometimes my own dad saw me as competition to him, a threat even. He is also jealous of the relationship my mom and I have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by marmaduke
N mothers/fathers are soul destroyers.
'If it wasn't for you we be alright.' I think this statement is one that creates a plethora of problems.
'If it wasn't for you we'd be alright' . In my young mind=I need to disapear then everything will be good 'I am flawed, bad, useless' Suicidal thoughts came to me early, about eight years old, Should I throw myself out the moving car? Swim right out to sea as far as I can? Then everyones problems will be solved.
|
Ah man, I'm so sorry. I know that feeling so well.
You describe it so perfectly, so accurately, it's chilling. I never thought someone else would ever know how I felt as a little boy.
A failed relationship attempt with a girl was the "straw that broke the camel's back" for me, the "final nail in the coffin" that turned me into a cold machine. Today, I am psychotically cold most of the time, I feel nothing. I only feel feelings when posting or chatting online. In real life, among people, my feelings switch off.
Quote:
Originally Posted by marmaduke
Even now I think of suicide most days even though I am not suicidal. I suppose its a habit.
|
Yes, me too. They just come. I daydream about dying, being killed specifically, and people witnessing it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by marmaduke
IMO at least 50% of suicides are caused by unfit parenting. A deep inner shame planted in a young immature psyche. That secret thought 'I have no place in this world. It haunts.
So many people on here that insist 'My parents are wonderful' and then go on to describe the horrors they have lived though.
And they still love them. WTF is that all about? Stockholm syndrone anyone?
I dont get it. Makes me mad I want to scream. Hate them Hate them, then you can move on! Cut those chains that bind.
|
It's about conditioning, brain-washing if you will. The child only knows "father's" or "mother's" world view. It's ingrained into every fiber of the child's psyche. Mom or dad is queen/king, or in some cases, God. The ruler, the only universally true being. It's a warping of the mind like no other.
Quote:
Originally Posted by marmaduke
Love is about kindness, care, compassion about caring for someone esle more than you care about yourself, otherwise it aint love its abuse!
Never love anything that can't love you back.
|
It runs deep. Being convinced to love this person. The decades of guilt-tripping and "displays" of what seems to be love makes you love them.
Thank you so much for your excellent post. If there is one thing I could add, it would be about your statement:
"If it wasn't for you we'd be alright."
The truth is, it actually would read:
"If it wasn't for you,
I'd be alright."
They love one and one only - themselves.