Beware, big rant.


I'm in a panicked state. I know I can fix it slowly, but I've also screwed up so badly. It's making my head reel.

I'm taking 10 hours of online classes while I work to save up money. I'm working 40 hours a week on top of that right now, and looking for a new job. I know I can't afford these hours and school is more important. I'm in the Criminal Justice program at my school and taking two mandatory courses of Study Skills and Intro Computers, which I'm doing fine in. And I'm also doing fine in my Police Operation courses. It's a bit much right now.. but I've also been out of school since 2009. This is a huge jump into hell for me. My constitutional law course unfortunately has sent me flying into the burning pits of death and destruction for my college career. I'll be dropped if I miss 10% or more of my classes, and I've missed a lot in just the last two weeks. My professor posts things late, and doesn't really give any notice. I know I should be checking more often, it's just difficult with my work hours and everything else I have to do.
I'm attempting to create more of a schedule for everything. But right now I just can't get my head in the game. I'm trying to do one thing at a time but it's making me panic still. I have so much due, and so little time, and I've missed so much. I'm terrified of being dropped from the class. This is my first college experience and I'm killing it.
My anxiety is shooting through the roof and I already have high blood pressure problems. I don't have anybody to talk to about anything really... so I'm just flipping out on here. Which I'm sorry for. I just don't want to botch a future I JUST started creating for myself... I really really dont.

I don't really know what to do with myself right now.