My father was an alcoholic, a wife-beater, and almost a murderer added to that. Where you come from does not determine your own future, it just alters the foundation you build it from. If a foundation for a house is made of cement, that doesn't mean the house has to be cement too. It can be wood, could be mud, could be glass. I never lived up to my father's expectations, still don't, because - like ours, mine has NPD. Yes I can be selfish, so can everyone else. I'm sure there are many much more selfish people than us still making pretty great parents. Actually, no action anyone does is entirely selfless anyway. When people give to charity, part of it will be to feel good about themselves, not just to help another person. You're a great person, I wish you could see it. But the important thing is that you know what you truly want, whether it's a family or no family, if you want to feel loved and needed it may seem selfish but it's what everyone feels, you just see it as a selfish trait because of having a narcissist parent. You really are great, there's no need to think like this and certainly no need to forget that you are a kind and caring person and that's all that really matters