hi ladytmt
i think it is hard to let go of and having all these feelings because you were invested honestly in this relationship and you were duped. this makes you feel stupid and being an intelligent woman i assume it is hard to believe that you didnt see the signs. so you really want to find ways to support he is the man you believed him to be so you werent entirely wrong about him so you dont look so foolish to yourself. i dont say this to insult you at all so please dont take it that way. it is just the way i felt when i found out about my husband's double life after five years of marriage. imagine being told by your brother in law, the nicest guy ever, that he was introduced to you in the afternoon shortly before the marriage and then later in the evening taken over to meet the girlfriend. like you couldnt have told me before i married him!?! sick sick men. and here i sit like 23 years after the divorce was finalized and i still cant fathom how i was so stupidly blind to fall for those lies.

welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome