I'm really sorry that you're having to go through this. Rose is right, your parents should be putting you first... unfortunately, sometimes that doesn't happen.

I really wanted to say one thing to you - if your dad doesn't love you, that's totally on him. You could be the most perfect, wonderful, lovable, amazing person in the world... and it wouldn't change his feelings. It's not really about you, it's about him, and his own brokenness. It's a hard thing to recognize, and it is completely unfair to you. But, hopefully it helps to know that it's not because of who you are, or anything you've done. It's not a reflection on you, it's a reflection on him. Does that make sense?

About talking to him, that's a tough one. How do you get along with your therapist? Do you find that she's helpful at all? You might want to see if she can role-play these conversations with you. Like, she'd be you, and you would be your dad. That way, you can see how she might handle the types of things that he says.

I don't want to push you to talk to him if you don't want to, I think that has to come from you. But, I do think that your therapist might be able to help you learn the conversational skills to deal with really tough, emotional conversations and with people pushing back on you. These are *great* skills to have, and if you can get help in learning them now, you'll likely find lots of use for them as you get older and move in to the world.

Good luck, *hugs*!