Halloween was horrible this year. It too used to be my favourite day of the year. I lost my mother on Halloween some years back which just ruined the day for me. My mother was the cause for so much of the hardship in my life. Tho yes I miss her I resent that she took this day away from me too. But this year was even worse. It wrapped up a month of other significant losses. My daughter seems no longer to be in my life, I received a horrible goodbye letter for someone who had been so important in my life, and was generally a pretty tough reminder of all I have lost in my ****** life.

How dare the world take this from me!

To add fuel to the fire now the holiday specials have started where everything is so cheery and the girl always gets the guy.

I would never ultimately harm myself but I have resumed the practise of scratching myself last night.