Well, as a woman who divorced a husband who was abusive.... I have several thoughts.

Our jobs as parents is to protect our children. If you are putting your children in a situation where they are not safe, you need to consider what damage is being done to them psychologically. Are they going to end up dealing with anxiety, depression, on meds, and on these boards because their mother allowed them to be in an abusive and unhealthy home?

You shouldn't have to put up with an abusive husband either! This isn't health for you either.

I also don't think you should tell your husband the things that your son says because all you are doing then is creating more animosity between the two.

I don't blame your son in the least for feeling the way he does.

I hope you get the help you need to live in a healthy and safe relationship.