My parents were divorced when I was really young, my mother the alcoholic. My dad had custody, but we still went to visit, so still had a lot of exposure. My dad remarried, SM was abusive. I have a lot of the same feelings you do. I have a daughter that made me realize just how BAD things really were in my house and at my mom's. My mom is passed and I see my dad and SM rarely. I have tried in the past to tell my dad about my early life, but he doesn't want to know. If he knows, he feels like he would have to DO something. So nothing in our family is ever talked about. I also have a sister who is an alcoholic, and we don't discuss that either.
Why don't I cut them off completely and tell them all to go jump in a lake? In all honesty, it is a selfish plot. When they pass, I want my inheritance. It isn't much, but if I get half the value of the house, that is a chunk. I deserve that. If I make a HUGE stink, I may lose that. Isnt that terrible!!!