Rainbow - I feel we have very similar T's. Down to a T (no pun intended, well maybe
). I have been trying to figure out how to reply to this but all I can think to say - is I feel the same. Different circumstances but I go through
huge up's and down's of "she's genuine" "she's just pretending to help" etc. Right now I'm in a "pretending" phase. I have to learn to try and accept her for what she says. Allow her to be what she is to me, "in my now". The being in the "now" and trying to get my brain to stop forward/over thinking seems impossible but she does really care, and her actions for you have showed that, at least what I have read of your story anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneTennison1
You are scared to love her and want out, but it's too late. You DO love her for everything you can have from T and everything she can provide. I know thinking of loss feels overwhelming and huge especially given your H passing away but you are not being asked to tackle it now. Future Rainbow will have to contend with and I don't know how independent she will be, how prepared she will be. You are not the same person you were a year a go and nor are you the same person you will be a year from now. Try not to panic over future potential problems. You have a good thing and you don't have to push it away. You deserve to enjoy the good thing. Don't sabotage it.
Love isn't a choice and you already love her, you may as well embrace it an enjoy it.
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Jane - Thank you for this. Seriously. Thank you, I really needed to read that right now.
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**the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**