Nearly every single holiday has been an unhappy, stressful, tearful struggle for me since I got married and had my own family. The culprits have been my mother, husband, or his parents.

Last week, I told my family that because of the extreme depression I am in, I would like to just not plan anything for Thanksgiving. It was not that I am saying I don't want to have any Thanksgiving dinner, it is just that it always becomes such a stressful situation, that I thought by just letting it happen, it would be the only way I could deal with it, giving myself no pressure.

Nope, my controlling mother just couldn't leave it alone. She called me this morning to tell me she was driving to check out a special gluten free bakery to see what she could order for Thanksgiving. (Because now my son's IBS has gotten so severe)

I felt my anxiety swelling during the call, but calmly said 'sure, mom, knock yourself out'. But the anger kept swelling within me. How controlling she has to be, how disrespectful of me and my wishes, how she has such a lack of sympathy for me and how I am feeling. How she got in little digs like I was not going to do anything for my family, so she has to. Which is totally not true. How she has to make everything about her.

She used to make all the family dinners. When I got married, I had a house and she just had a small apartment, so I started making the dinners. She has to control everything, can't let me do anything my way.

I called my sister twice to talk me out of calling mom to tell her off, but I just couldn't stop myself.

So I told her I am not having Thanksgiving. She spewed nasty name-calling insults at me and said I am killing her. Called me a f****'n little b**ch. I said 'I asked you, I begged you to leave it alone'. Can you feel the love???