After YEARS of trying to better myself and make improvements in my life, I am officially waving the white flag. People either don’t want to help me or they don’t understand me and my condition. I have done everything I can think of, including doing group therapy (which was a giant waste of time), vigorous exercising (which made me even more tense and angry), to seeing career and job counselors (which has done nothing considering I am still stuck in the same crappy industry). I am sick and tired of fighting for my happiness. There are just too many things working against me. I just have to face that at 35 years old, this is who I am. I’m too old to change. There is just no more help available for me that I can afford. I simply waited too long for help.

I hate my job. I hate my life. I hate my living conditions. I have kept trying to say to myself that things can’t get any worse, but every time I end up being proven wrong.

I should also make it clear that this is not a suicide note. I fully intend to live the rest of my long miserable life. I have no idea what else I can do but give up. The only things I haven’t tried are drugs, alcohol, and putting a bullet through my head.

I’m sorry you all had to read this, but I’m just angry and fed up.