Not really anxious. I had my first easy therapy session in a long time and came home and took a walk with the dog. Now I'm giving in to my fever. But then again I could list several reasons I could/should feel anxious. So who knows? Just the mixed thing is actually triggering some;it's changing my treatment needs and probably deciding for me that I'm going to be starting clozaril. I've been in bad shape since last January; I really want to not have to go IP to do that until after Christmas so that I don't spend another Christmas IP. And while all this just came to me last night it's probably not helping anything because the whole thing does make me anxious. The word clozaril still makes me anxious even though I've come to terms with it. I think any new drug at this point is going to do that. I don't know. I need sleep. So little last night and being sick is not so good. But if I sleep now I won't sleep tonight.

Maybe it's easier to obsess about someone else's problems, especially with my mind going faster than it should and a fever. I really don't know.