Angela:

I don't have a therapist, yet. I did call today and made an appointment with my MD for Wednesday morning to talk to her about it.She wants to talk to me and make sure my meds are working correctly and all of that and I need a refill on them, so...gonna bite the bullet on that one.

I usually just hang up and wait awhile and call her back and usually it's someone way more reasonable. LOL. It's just that I haven't seen or heard from this particular alter in awhile and I thought maybe the others were taking over and keeping her silenced. Stupid probably, on my part, but you know a person can dream. I know she's not going to get any better without therapy and I've tried to talk to her. I guess one more time is not going to hurt. IF she continues on this path, there is going to be a major crisis soon and I'm not sure I can handle another one. I hate to say it, but one more time and she might be on her own for awhile.

Her husband is so naive. They've been married for a year and he didn't even know she was mentally ill until she had the major crisis a few months ago. I've got to have a talk with him too. This stuff has got to stop. I'm not sure what to do.

My husband sees how much pain I'm in and he doesn't want me to have anything to do with her. He says he'll deal with my family. They do treat me like their therapists. Being the oldest child, the other siblings come to me when they have a problem, because she's never really been a mother to any of us. She just hated me and she doted on them (well doted might be a stretch, she just didn't do the things to them that she did to me)

It's a hard decision to make but I'm about to face it and make it. I would rather just not feel anything at all. I'm ashamed to say mostly what I feel is pity for her. She knows she's sick, she has so many opportunities to help herself but she just ignores them and self-medicates, which she is now doing again. It's always a vicious cycle with her.

I'm rambling I know and probably making zero sense, but as you can see I'm still struggling with this. There are just some things that your kids don't need to know and definitely don't WANT to know and that alter has crossed the line so many times.....

Thanks for the hugs dear. I sure did need them!

((((((((Angela))))))))))

Take Care.
Kimberly