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SeptemberMorn said:
Half of me feels I could possibly be reacting and letting small things get to me but the other half says "no." What do ya'll think?

1. Obviously, I have to say something to her because she's not taking the hint.

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I am absolutely rotten at expressing my boundaries in face-to-face talk, but sometimes we must. I hope you will find in prayer the perfect words to express that you care about the woman but cannot be as available to her as she wants you to be. Good luck with this.


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There's a long lattice that divides his property from mine. The other neighbor whose property backs up to my carport has given me permission to do whatever I choose with his little strip of dirt and stepping stones. I've got various little things growing along the property line.

I was hoping that if I kept this last little stick watered and fertilized with bunny poop, it might send me up a miracle.

I went away for a while and when I came back, I saw that the "patio builder" had taken his cement chisel and buried it into the ground around my little raspberry stick, making sure that if anything was growing under ground, it would be dead!

First, he knows that I feel about my plants like they are my babies. Second, MY little stick wasn't even on HIS property. What my head keeps screaming at me is "By what right did he decide that it was okay for HIM to make sure that MY plant was completely dead??????" DAMMIT!!!!

Ok... so am I overreacting??

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You have a right to your feelings, whether they are appropriate or overreacting. Each of us who responds will bring to our decision our own values, perceptions, attitudes, experiences, etc. The words that stand out for me are "property line," "little stick" and "send me a miracle."

Property lines are legal boundaries, and people's perceptions of where they are get blurred over time. It's probably not a great idea to plant or build anything on a real estate boundary, because it can lead to exactly the kind of disputes in which you are involved.

If the plant was indeed a stick, so badly off that you were expecting a miracle, my personal humble opinion is that your response may well be an overreaction. Personally, I would prefer that a neighbor take sick, mostly dead plants and keep them out of my sight. That doesn't make my perception more right or wrong than the perception that this was one of your "babies."

One of the principles I was taught in dog training was that when a situation involved making a choice between my dog and another human being, I must always remember to put humans before dogs. E.g. If a visitor to my home was uncomfortable being around a Doberman, you put the dog in the crate or a bedroom; you do not cut off the person who is uncomfortable as a friend or neighbor.

Good luck with these disputes. Don't let the turkeys get you down.