For someone who has been in therapy for half my life I really lack insight sometimes (ok, the fever doesn't help).........I have continued to be bothered by this ridiculous Jimmy Fallon thing. A good 7 hours later I finally realized that 4 years ago I started saying that my brother was drinking too much on vacation, like WAY, WAY, WAY too much. And 3 years ago nearly exactly on another trip I was horrified when I found out how much he was drinking and trying to hide it and nobody believed me. 2 years ago I think the drinking was at least recognized but not discussed. We didn't try to help him, didn't know how to confront it. (Needless to say probably our father was constantly drinking, never drunk, just like my brother and my mom's father was an alcoholic too. We're not well-equipped to handle that in this family). And he wound up in serious trouble that has torn my family into 2 parts that can't be together and there is no chance that will ever change because of the nature of what he did.

I guess this hit a lot closer to home than I realized. I didn't realize that I now fear someone drinking the way I saw drinking in my family.

Now I know.