16 or 17 days now, but i really want to do it, and i'm struggling not to.

got some hurtful things said about me by a family member today. i guess they live far enough away to feel comfortable judging me at a cool distance. and we used to be close too... now they wonder why i don't talk to them more than once every few months.

i pretended it didn't bother me, so now i can't exactly talk to anyone irl about it.

i guess that's society... if you're of-age and not working at least part-time, you're just one of the lazy, unemployed scum.

on top of this, my 19th birthday is in 4 days, and i don't want to celebrate. i don't want any presents (except for one thing, and i'll never get it so it doesn't matter). i don't feel like my life is much to celebrate, anyway.