Without messing up.

Exactly. I sometimes feel as though I were on show with everyone evaluating how I am performing. Everyone knows I am sick and I think they realize it's hard for me this time of year. Consequently I am feeling like everyone expects me to fall and are just waiting for when it will happen. As a result, I must keep a stiff upper lip and try to proove them all wrong. It is a battle to keep my chin up. And hence, I am on show determined not to show I'm down.

It's all very exhausting