No I wasn't upset. I am just frustrated and anxious.
It's not that I don't know the details. As I write I know in the back of my mind my insurance case manager has an idea in his head of what he wants to see written there and I am supposed to
a. know what that criteria is
b. meet that criteria
c. have evidence to support the fact that I meet that criteria
I don't have a helpful case manager. I have a case manager who keeps me in the dark unless I explicitly ask him a direct question. Even then half the time i don't get a straight answer. Anything I say he tries to twist that into something to invalidate my claim and order me back to my desk. I get panic attacks just seeing his number show up on my phone.
All of this is just ridiculously anxiety inducing to have to write and guess what I am supposed to say.
It's not unlike someone holding a gun to your head and saying "ok, in my mind I am thinking of a number between ONE and TEN..."
I don't think anyone can write well under those kinds of conditions.
And a constant worry that I am writing things that are at best a waste of my time, or even worse may invalidate my claim completely:
a. not of any use/irrelevant
b. things that he can twist into something to dispute my claim
For example i could type this :
"using the computer for more than 30 mins at a time is exhausting and I have to stop"
And he could just say "Oh, so you CAN use a computer and do work? Great, time to return to work."
This just makes my hands freeze and I cant' type anything.
I keep looking for samples on the www and there's nothing. I am quite shocked about that.
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