im so anxious. someone was murdered near my apartment last night. like, in my complex. like.... i can see the apartment from mine. its a crime scene now. now my mom wants me to move and says she will help me with rent if i get into some program to get a better job. that would mean i would have to transfer my job to a store in the town i wanna move to.ANXIETY!!!!!!!!!! i want to move but omg i am anxious....

also T hurt my feelings today. he apologized like 3 times, and said he was being insensitive. still, i was hurt. he went to the bathroom and i cried a little but stopped before he came back. i think he could tell i was crying cuz he said he was sorry that he hurt my feelings. he was basically comparing me to another client. i stopped talking and he said why does that make you upset? he was talking about her positive outlook on life despite her significant issues. i said i feel like im being compared and i fall short. i think he knew right then he had made a mistake, he leaned back and said thats not a good feeling... im sorry.

i came to my moms after that. i work tomorrow morning. now i have new things to freak out about...maybe T is right... i should try to be more positive. how do i think about things that way when i feel such anxiety in my chest??? idk. ****.