Hi Mid-Life-Larry,

I certainly know how you feel. I'll make this brief here and you can contact me personally if you want to ' friend " or just talk.

The signs were there many years ago , it's just that I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn't realize I was losing her. Things that she said that I let go over my head , ( maybe because I didn't want to believe she didn't love me anymore ).

Trust : As far as I'm concerned if there's no trust , and lying, and secrets , and suspicion
there's usually some truth to it. This went on for years.
And then the clincher was when she pulled away from me when I tried to hug her.
No more physical contact , with NO explanation. No verbal communication. Separate bedrooms. Ignored. This went on for a few years.
Eventually after much psychological abuse , I got the guts to file for a divorce.
You see , I was scared , I had other issues , I didn't think I could ever be alone ,
and believe it or not I thought we could fix it.

So to answer your question I knew a long time ago that it was over. I just didn't want to believe it. So I held on to something that was broken and UNFIXABLE..
You will know when. And when you do , give it a try for a little while. But don't waste years of your life trying to fix something that can't be fixed.

Best to you.