I'm a little late jumping into this this...but wow. The fact that you were still able to get up and teach of all things (maybe not the way your normally would, but still!) is amazing. As everyone else else says, you definitely are stronger than you think. But I think we all doubt ourselves at one point or another, so it's understandable. As far as Xmas is concerned, I really do feel your pain. On Christmas day, 2013 my best friend, my grandmother, passed away. I was never really excited about Christmas to begin with, but now it really is difficult. So yeah seeing Christmas decorations everywhere is a bit much for me. And I can't ever go back over to my aunts house again, it's where she took her last breath. Anyway, I know we have too different situations, but I'm right there with you. I'm glad you're feeling better though. And I think spending Christmas somewhere else is a great idea. Feel better and please take care.