I feel a bit more awake now just not focused or motivated much.

I realized how much time I've wasted. I'm sick of this. I rarely have any fun in life. I don't have a life. I don't see why I'm doing this. I don't know what's happening and I'm getting better at subconsciously blocking any fresh information. I don't know anything. I want to learn as much as I can.

I hope to get better enough to contact some friends and I was almost at that point but I think the alcohol reset it so I have to wait even longer to get better.

I'm gonna read half of my book play for English and do the questions in the morning hopefully.