I have been struggling with chronic pain for years. It felt like it swallowed my whole existence when I couldn’t keep up anymore and dropped out of college last Spring.

My life consists of going to doctors’ appointments, eating TV dinners and cereal, grocery shopping (online), and doing dishes. It uses up all of my energy just to do these things. I don’t feel like anything is rewarding about life. I live with my mom and am completely dependent on her for for financial support. My happiest times these days are when I block out the real world and get lost in binging sci fi shows online.

I am irritable all the time because the pain interferes with my sleep a great deal. I have tried various medications but it’s been over a year since I had a single night of quality sleep. I don’t remember what it feels like to wake up feeling refreshed. The meds that did anything for my sleep put me in a fog all day.

I try to spend most of my time in my room by myself because I have such a short fuse and I feel bad about yelling at people. I yell by myself as well, but I don’t feel guilty about it if no one else is there. When I yell I'm overwhelmed by the situation not mad at a person, but that doesn’t make it less abusive (this is related to a diagnosed mental health problem, but the pain makes it harder to control).

I don’t like spending time with friends anymore because I have nothing going on in my life that's worth talking about. It’s hard to hide medical issues when they have taken over my whole existence.

I used to be a talented sculptor and most of my friends are artists, but the pain makes it take so much longer to make anything that it’s just frustrating. Plus it gives me bad tension headaches to sit and work on anything.