I've started this post so many times and have been working on it for 45 minutes now. As I keep writing I realize just how fast you can spiral down. To my bosses yesterday I was just fine. I was super tired last week I was achy and thought I had was getting the flu so I took a couple of days off. Now I recognize it was a warning sign of so many that I've ignored. When I saw my pdoc yesterday, she called me out just by asking the basic "are you depressed or manic?" questions

I put on a mean game face. Today, now that the scab has been picked, I don't know how well I can put that game face on. I know I'll go farther down before I go up. We increased my wellbuturin which will hopefully help, but I just can't do my job well... I have so much more to say... I just feel so inept. As a teacher, there is no "not doing your job."

I really need support.