(((((((((( rainbow8 ))))))))))

Rainbow - I feel we have very similar T's. Down to a T (no pun intended, well maybe ). I have been trying to figure out how to reply to this but all I can think to say - is I feel the same. Different circumstances but I go through huge up's and down's of "she's genuine" "she's just pretending to help" etc. Right now I'm in a "pretending" phase. I have to learn to try and accept her for what she says. Allow her to be what she is to me, "in my now". The being in the "now" and trying to get my brain to stop forward/over thinking seems impossible but she does really care, and her actions for you have showed that, at least what I have read of your story anyway.

Thank you Ellahmae. It's hard. I over think all the time too! I'm glad Jane's reply helped you. I had trouble in yesterday's session too, not connecting, afraid of loving and losing my T. I said "you're too nice to me." so she asked if I wanted her to be mean to me! No! She says I'm grieving, and will have ups and downs.

Jane - Thank you for this. Seriously. Thank you, I really needed to read that right now.

If you aren't used to receiving unconditional love and genuine care then it is very hard to learn how to accept it. It's like learning anything else -- takes time, practice, and patience.

This! Because I struggle with this, too, both regarding T & marriage counselor and my husband.