Hello NathanMAqpie50: I'm sorry to read of your struggles. No you are not selfish for posting. This is what PC is here for... so welcome! PsychCentral is a great place to gain support as well as to obtain mental health related information. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to others' posts, the more you'll get out of the time you spend here. So keep posting!

From what you wrote, it sounds as though you are struggling mightily at the present time. Cutting is not the worst thing in the world. But it certainly can be dangerous, as you well know. I don't know if you are receiving any mental health services at the present time. If not, I'd like to encourage you to reach out to someone, either a mental health professional, or a trusted family member or friend. My best wishes to you...