i have been talking to my girlfriend since august and we have been "official" for a month and a half now. i like her a lot. she is extremely beautiful and kind. i feel like she's out of my league and have from the beginning. before her, i was single for 2 years. i also don't have many friends. she knows about my mental illness and i try to tell her how i'm feeling overall each day but sometimes i just don't want to explain why i'm upset or having a bad day. i have already started to isolate myself from her. lately, i don't text her with as much enthusiasm as i once did. to her, it really seems that i don't care. and i think i do. but i don't feel i can show it. idk. we broke up last week because of "communication problems" even though i was doing my best. but i take everything personally and i get very defensive. she says i'm mean. i hate that. i feel like a terrible person. she deserves to be happy and i told her that. but she asked if we could try and i told her that i really didn't think i could give her any better than what i already was. and she said that it was okay. she tries really hard to talk to me normally. but i feel so disconnected. i don't feel like we are close at all. we have only kissed because we are both shy. she has also started to annoy me. i wish that didn't happen. i don't know why it does or why i act this way. i'm sorry this is so long.
also i have bpd, bd, gad
does anyone know why we isolate? any advice? experiences? tips?