i kinda binged last weekend & the beginning of this week. been trying to ease back into restricting, and it's going well so far. i mainly drink black coffee & lots of water, haven't touched my diet soda in a couple days, cutting my intake slowly. weighed myself today - 279. so glad i didn't gain from the binge, i was afraid i'd be 280 again, or even 281. i have to be more cautious from now on. i think i can be in the 260's by xmas. that excites me. i haven't been in the 260's since... gosh, i don't know when. probably middle school? & i'm turning 19 in 3 days, so... yeah, quite a long time between my middle school years & now.

i ate a small bowl of chili for dinner, that was 4 hours ago. debating whether to get a small snack. i have baby carrots in the fridge & saltines in the cabinet. i don't really want any more calories, but i'm going with my parents to a mall out of town tomorrow, and might even be getting my nose pierced, so i'll need some fuel. i can't be walking around in a daze and feeling faint. can't tell if it's craving or genuine need for food. my stomach feels empty again, and i'm not wanting anything specific. might just chew my gum.