I'm a pretty bright guy as i'm told all the time and it's so hard to have to swallow such a tough pillow , this OCD is real consuming at times and I too can't help myself with the checking and rechecking , I feel like i'm reduced to this idea that i'm NOT going to get better and I have to deal with it in a way that is painful, if that makes sense, i'm so grateful I found this site it's nice to know i'm not alone, at this point all I can do is keep moving forward and do the best i can and if I digress , i' human and to not beat up on myself !