Wow. You know anything I say after reading all that will seem moot and pointless because you are DEAD set in staying in this situation. You're the epitome of making your bed and laying in it.

Honestly though, I do hope things turn for you and you get that spring of luck that hopefully, maybe she will leave you? After years of you paying for everything, cleaning up after her and whatever else, I think that hot piece conquered you. Conquered you so much that you see absolutely NO WAY out. Not even with a lawyer not even warranting an attempt to even try.

Just remember what some of the other people said. Your kids SEE this. Years of this type of dysfunction is gonna cause THEM to get therapy in the long run.

But que sera sera, its your life. and this is a place to vent not for anyone to judge. I just think the other people are just trying to help you through this and are just providing options, but I am not gonna do that because you won't listen. I know already. YOU know what you have to do, its up to you to do it. Life ain't easy that's for sure, and in your case its an understatement.