- Everything you said is what happens to many people with chronic pain. Suffice it to say it has ruined my life , as it was ( as in past tense ). What Skeet said is true but it's going to be the hardest thing to do. It takes time and I'm working on acceptance myself very hard.

If I may , just a few questions. You didn't say what your pain is. Depending on the type of pain there may be some type of treatment you just haven't found yet.

You didn't say how old you are. The reason I ask is because you may have more strength than you think if your young. You may have lost your friends , ( they can't be real friends if they abandoned you ) , but you haven't yet lost a wife and children.

You said you had to drop out of college. Well at least you haven't lost a real good job yet.

You have a place to stay.
As I write this it seems like I'm making a gratitude list. I didn't intend to , I just realized it now. I know how hard it is to be grateful about anything when your in pain , but if you keep thinking about how much worse it could be well...
You also talk about the mental anguish your going thru. You need to keep on trying to find the right help for that. Therapy , meds , keep looking , keep trying.

Everything I said is because I know what your going thru and know how it feels.

Keep posting and keep getting suggestions that may help.