Hello Ruari: I sorry to read of your struggle. Two things occur to me as a result of reading your post. First, from my perspective, seeking happiness in other people is a prescription for never-ending sadness. Somehow, my perspective would be, that you are going to have to figure out some way of being okay alone. If you can find a way to be happy alone, you may find that it will be much easier to find friends.

On a more practical level though, perhaps you might have more success at gaining companionship if you could become involved in some activities that would put you in touch with like-minded people. Such activities could include doing volunteer work, participating in some sort of support group, finding some type of club to join, etc. It is true that one of the major non-medical approaches to treating depression involves turning one's focus away from one's depression, outward toward other people & activities. I know how difficult it can be to do this when one is depressed. But it is an important aspect of recovery from depression. And the sooner one puts forth the effort to do it, the better. So my wish for you would be that you would be able to find some way to turn outward into the community. If you can, you may well find the companionship you seek...