Thank you so much for he replies and taking the time to read my post.

He always seems to try and justify his wrong doings. He verbally lashed out as he was angry and upset, he lied as he wanted to see me. In his mind he doesn't really see he does much wrong as he always has excuses for his actions.

I find it hard to talk to him as he hears me but doesn't listen. I think he has anger issues and he smokes a lot of weed, maybe this is connected?

I have a history of self harm (sorry should have mentioned that) but haven't cut for a long time Altho I still think about it a lot I've not done it for a long time.

I love him so much and when things are great they are wonderful but then it crashes and it's the worst feeling.

Sorry to go on, just needed to get things out

Thanks again for your support