so a few weeks ago possibly about two to three weeks ago me and my ex that I was with for three years seperated.

and broke up. I was actually the one that wanted out, I was just tired of us not being happy around each other and contstantly fighting.

it made it a little challenging that his best friend had showed interest me and had confided in me that he liked me.

and to my boyfriend I guess it seemed like to him that influenced my choice. and to a degree it did but I did not end up cheating on him with his friend.

I am polyamourus and have other partners in my life. so I had told him about his friend liking me and flirting with me. but we did not lie about anything that went on between the two of us.

we had just started to grow apart from each other and we needed to get away from each other.

but anyway we basically wrapped up with the break up and then shortly afterwards, I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive.

I know from how the relationship was it would not be healthy for me the kid, my current boyfriend, or my ex or myself at all.

not to mention I am not in a financial situation where I could have a child.

I had the first check up at planned parenthood today and was horrifying for me. I mean there are literally pro life protesters outside the facility that sit there all day and yell at you and try to get you to go over and talk to them, I practically yanked the new guys hand out dragging him along to get away from these people.
and even after two hours later of being inside these people were still outside. Some of them even tried to walk directly up to my car after we had left to try to talk to us and to get us to sign petitions to so called "end the evil of abortions".

It truly makes me so angry these people do these kinds of things. I mean I am being judged by these people and other random strangers who are not aware of this going on with me at all. They just know about the break up and know who i am with right now as opposed to I am with.

I nearly want to just ditch my facebook account and act like I never heard of the site any more.

since my ex for some odd reason felt the ****ing need to share my new relationship status on his page like he wanted a guilt party for ****.

I feel really guilty about all of this cause I know for the three years I was together with him I genuinely felt like I wanted to have children, I even said so to him and my other partners. And a lot of people tried to tell me how it was a bad idea and I did not listen and now I am dealing with being six weeks pregnant and I do not want the baby.

in a way I do want it...but I know the quality of that child's life would not be a good one.

I am sure not everyone that reads this might agree with me i am just scared and I feel incredibly isolated and alone and I have not really spoken about this going on with me to many people.
so I figured talking about here was a good place for me to do so..