I have lost my libido in my marriage many times due to depression & meds. The more my husband wanted sex the angrier I got & dug my heels in saying no. I knew this wasn't helping & made me feel bad.

So for me, & this might not help at all, but for me this is how I changed my thinking. Because sex all starts between the ears.
I started to view my husband as someone who wanted ME. Yeah he wanted sex, but he wanted ME. He wanted to do things to Me & be w/Me. This thinking became empowering. I'm a sexual being. I could have sex w/another human, but this human wants to be w/me. So the power part of it, to me, was special & helped me w/CSA issues.
I'm certainly not saying use sex as a weapon, like with holding or making someone beg for it. But the idea that someone wanted to be w/me, please me & love me...just for me....who could easily find someone else, well it helped me feel better as a person.
I'm not sure if this makes sense or helpful. But I wish you much luck!