Around this time, last year, my depression became so overwhelming that I finally broke down and contacted my Physician to try medication treatment. I began the medication, went through complete hell for the first week secondary to various medication side effects, and then eventually I started to feel... at ease. Not BETTER; just, different. Months went by and I was very active! I was almost manic in the sense that I was making crazy decisions and doing bold things that I normally wouldn't be able to do. This lasted the entire summer, and then the winter came. I stopped taking my medications and honestly, I'm not really certain why I stopped. I guess I just felt like artificial happiness did not equate to quality of life. Now, for the past several months, I'm feeling a relapse coming on. I was very large on SI in the past, and often times I think about using that as my outlet again. Last month, I even intentionally overdosed in hopes that I would go unresponsive or have a seizure in front of my significant other. I can't explain these feelings, and they occur much too often for comfort. I can feel the relapse growing stronger and closer, and I can only hope that I deactivate the fuse before the bomb detonates.

Sincerely,
Am I the only one?